In Response To A Banker Bro

debt homebuying mortgage women Sep 10, 2020

Homebuying is supposed to be exciting.

Until I learned that banks think they can treat you like you are less than.

Sharing my response to the banker bro at NBKC bank who said they would only approve a mortgage if they took me off the loan and only put it in my husband's name.

FYI, we bought the home and were approved for a mortgage with both our names on it.


Hi Jason,

Thank you for asking for feedback.
We contacted NBKC because the website states "listening intently" as a value, and that it is "a bank with a personal touch."
However, I did not experience either of these values when I asked if we could review my case specifically. I asked if it would be possible to have this loan manually underwritten, to which you said "there is nothing to underwrite" and cut me off.
Fortunately, I can easily demonstrate that I am more than capable of paying back a mortgage loan, as me and my husband paid off $300,000 of debt since 2016, including two mortgages. I personally had $72,000 of student loans that were paid off in less than a year.
I have built a reputation around being very sound with money. Coincidentally, our story is featured on NerdWallet, the same source from which you got our lead.
I was hopeful to talk to a human being that day, and to be treated as one, rather than just a number. You didn't take the time to interpret my history. If you did, you would have observed that it's not that I can't pay back debt. It's that I've paid back debt so well that, that I have no credit score. 
In comparison, your equivalent at a competitor, at least escalated our case, and agreed to look into it as a unique situation. He took the time to listen and asked more questions. We felt heard.
And the lender we are working with currently is doing everything they can to include me on the loan. After listening intently, they granted our request to try to manually underwrite the loan -- when you said there was nothing to underwrite.
You failed to understand that it is important to both me and my husband that I have equal accountability for the mortgage, because we are in fact, equals in this marriage, and in our finances. Why should I accept the he get all the burden, or all the credit in paying it? The money to pay for this mortgage monthly will be in part, if not all of it, directly from my income.
Aside from how I felt completely ignored, flat out denying my request to be a co-borrower on a 10-year, $136,000 mortgage with a ~10% DTI, seems to ignore basic business logic.
I know that the average mortgage balance in the US is $200,000+ and I've seen mortgages approved on DTI as high as 40%.
Thus my request for a professional underwriter to review our case. I was hopeful there would be a scenario that we could all agree on. But I was cut off.
My job is to share my experience and provide recommendations to people looking for financial services such as yours. I cannot in good conscience refer anyone to NBKC based on this disappointing interaction, and I hope this feedback will help others, who are also trying to be financially responsible, avoid the same poor experience.
P.S. Here is one of my features in TIME this week.

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